1. |
Homecoming
04:28
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I’ve had so much on my mind
I’ve been letting the past get the better of me
Of anything from the vastness of my lost life
There’s one thing that comes back, one memory
One I feel I should mention
Going all the way back to adolescence
Brian and I were standing outside
The way would if we were taking drags
Making the best of the end of the night
Talking like we’re Dirk and Max
And our life is scored by The Kinks
But we can say exactly what we think
We were waiting on his deck for my mom
To pick me up after homecoming that late
We spent all our time with our friends on the wall
As awkward freshmen then in 2008
Tolerating songs we can’t stand
None of us really wanted to dance
I told him how our friend Nicole picked me
As her partner for the last slow song
She was unpredictable, but looked so pretty
The song ended, she bolted, and the night went on
Brian speculated she had some feeling
I said maybe it was true, but I didn’t see it
But there we were in our best clothes
Untucked shirts, blowing imaginary smoke
Until my mom pulled into Brian’s driveway
And somehow, she was still wide awake
Picking me after homecoming that late
As I was, an awkward freshman then in 2008
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2. |
Walker
04:14
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Hey Walker
There’s no rush
And if there’s a rush
So what if there is
Hey Walker
You have stories of war
Don’t tell me about the war
I don’t think I could take it
Oh Bryn
I’ve heard the name
All I know’s the name
Same’s true for you
Oh Bryn
I’ve seen your face
I knew your face
I’ve lost that too
Listen, Sarah
I saw you often
Thought of you often
Long ago
Listen, Sarah
I’ve got a memory
You’re in that memory
It’s nice and vague though
I think we
Could’ve been friends
But I think a lot
Of things
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3. |
Hanging Tree
03:11
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My mother and sister set hooks in the ceiling
With polygrams of ornaments dangling
Another year, another new idea that looked appealing
Their imaginations somehow never failing
And the sun poured through the windows and onto the plastic
To fill my room, while I'm gone and somewhere unknown
Glistening so brilliantly, the sight So complete and fantastic
The hanging tree for me marked the year I left home
I know I will do the same
In the same setting with a different name
And they can close their eyes real tight
Those girls find a way to fill my room and make it their own
Just a new day, a new year, another night
The hanging tree for me marked the year I left home
And I can close my eyes real tight
And find a way to fill a new room and make it my own
Just a new day, a new year, another night
The hanging tree for me marked the year I left home
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4. |
East Lansing Girls
04:49
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I see one walking my way
Mostly, it makes me feel insane
I hope that they do,
I hope that they won’t
Doesn’t it make you anxious
I guess that’s just the way it is
Am I the only one this anxious
Maybe this won’t always be the way it is
It’s not anything new
I’m no less ill, so it’s no less true
It could have happened anywhere
But I fell for East Lansing girls
I’ve got nothing to say or give
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5. |
Nebraska
04:41
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We slept beneath the stars in beds of pickup trucks
Lost in infinite rest, and we were finally sunk
From Fairview to Tennessee, in the early June heat
We were young and out of place and finally free
This is no Harhill or Trapper Creek
And Skokholm would be a better scene
We're running low, and slowing to a walk
This is what the summer readily brought
We might drown in the American sea
Streaming away from the coast and into the valley
Lost in the heart of our home, to each we come
Back separating ourselves and looking over us
The souls that we bore knew it in the core
There's an energy to fully explore
Friction is a fiction, with no restriction
Or wishing around trying to be found down
Or is it a cycle
That tucks it as you're old
It never holds
Speaking to quiet lulls
And said dream
Was all too varying
Wake to dust in the light
Press on into the bright
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6. |
Downpour
03:24
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Stuck in the ice
Or drifting right
Into someone else
From where we were
It was all a blur
I’m not sure how others felt
The driver was panicking
Couldn’t tell what was happening
Praying for God’s help
And we spiraled into the middle of the road
Spinning in the rapid downpour of snow
All would be well
Another vehicle collided into the passenger’s side
There were no casualties that we could find
The sirens rang forever like a non-elegy
Droning and building, unsure of our well-being
But I looked towards the frost from outer space
That worked around us, then melted on my face
As if infinite planets and dimensions merged
I thought I had witnessed the collapsing universe
And what a divine phenomenon it was
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7. |
Sleepless
03:59
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8. |
Chicago
03:47
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You've got a real keen look on your brow
With a plan, the will to go through, and know-how
Underneath buzzing florescent on the twenty-eight
With Chicago done for the day, we're staying up late
(refrain)
Alone with tourists in Millennium Park
Chasing after one another in the dark
In our autumn coats, cause we're young
With the most sincere smiles and optimistic tongues
Headlights crawling in the streets
Like a pair of seers, they’re under our feet
Your palm in my palm, steady and calm
Never again, do we need to be so tall
And the towers and lamps above
Can watch us live as one
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9. |
To the Lake
04:22
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I come back to Michigan once a year
My mom and I make jerky out of deer
I learned to do so in high school
It’s something I never knew I’d use
I make a point to meet up with Brian
And we talk a while about how life’s been
I ask about all of our old classmates
Most of whom left our town, or left the state
But then we play songs in my basement
And part of me wonders if we could’ve made it
If I’d stayed there, and we made music
Those thoughts are nice, but I’m no longer suited
[for] Going back to the lake
[it] Never feels the same
Am I home if I see
It moving on without me
I think of when I met Jay
When I met him in sixth grade
Now he’s studying to be a cop
I’m not sure if he’ll make it or not
I think of Alex and Justin
And their younger cousins
Seeing them on New Year’s with their dad
Their grandparents, their uncles and aunts
I think of Nicole way back
During homecoming, sharing that last dance
I think of falling for Kelsey
For Morgan, Natasha, and Chelsea
I think of the decade that passed
Of when I saw Virginia last
How hard it was to leave then
It made it easier to do it again
I think of who I was once
That I haven’t changed much
Maybe I’m just losing
My grasp on how things used to be
But going back to the lake
Never feels the same
I’m home now, and I see
It’s still here for any version of me
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10. |
#1 Record
03:15
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I made my first record
When I was seventeen
With songs I had written
To me, they meant everything
I was outside myself
And everyone could look right in
I remember trying
To be insightful and honest
I don’t believe that
Anyone understood me like I wanted
[refrain]
Every time I reminisce
The more I really notice
How the wildest stories
Were sheer terror in the moment
The further I get
Away from that time
The easier it is to let go
And soon I don’t actually mind
[refrain]
And I can do the same as them
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11. |
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Wandering Spirits
Where has the time gone
I was waiting for you
In nowhere in particular
I hope you weren’t looking too
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12. |
You Will Find Jesus Here
03:39
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Grantsville wreaks of manure
And still has a video store
It’s not on a grid system like elsewhere in the state
And each street has one church or more
Not a lot of changed here
Since the first time I visited
All the change in this place has been gradual
From when I was just a little kid
I see the constant remains
Of a small-town crawl
Surrounded by fields and littered with tumbleweeds
A miniature Zion from a rural sprawl
And the people have no fear
For you will find Jesus here
Few places with so many hearts sincere
You will find Jesus here
Some folks will come, never to disappear
They have found Jesus here
After a decade and a half, to me its so clear
I’ve no doubts, you will find Jesus here
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13. |
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Everyday, I would get up at dawn
Arrange the sprinklers around the lawn
And in between half-hour rotations
I watched old movies while I waited
There are few other types of magic
Like waking up to the classics
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14. |
Nevada
03:09
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Hey love, I’m so sorry
For how much I’ve been calling
Whatever’s keeping you
If you want to, let’s talk soon
Don’t leave me on my own
Don’t let me feel alone
Don’t make an exit like this
Be you at your finest
Hey love, I’m back after
A couple years when we
Were here together
And we talked about settling
And then other things got in the way
But I’m asking, for my sake
Don’t forget the first time we met
I know just how nervous I was then
And I’ve some memories lurking
Of when we went to Nevada in 2013
Taking photographs everywhere
But I love when we would just stare
At each other with honest realization
With the same wondering faces
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15. |
Dugway
03:19
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If the sun is going out
We can use candles
If the wax is dripping down
The warmth too much to handle
We've got the moon
If our windows are fogging up
There's a filled canvas on the wall
If the fading colors aren't enough
And our shadows stretch to the end of the hall
We can go outside
If it's November and blue
And we can't make our own light
We'll wait until the day wakes too
We will watch it come on high
We will see the night lift away
And ever quietly celebrate
Until we tenderly part again
I'll wait 'til twilight to start again
We’ll be mfacing some hearth again
Watching the embers pop and spark again
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16. |
April
03:12
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I saw you out and about the other day
You found me too and you quickly looked away
And as we crossed paths
Your pace accelerated rather fast
Despite my best attempts to slip you a hello
Your cold shoulder chilled my soul
And that moment came back throughout the day
Neither of us can seem to keep the other away
All of the boys that fell in love with you
They moved on and each met someone new
As anyone else can tell
I’m included there as well
It’ll be four years in April when I put it in writing
Sometimes I think about what the world might be
If you’d felt about me as I felt about you
Would I have wanted to meet anyone new
But you’re a changed person, I can relate
And I can only assume you’ve met such a fate
That you’re busy somehow
That I’d barely recognize you now
I would know your face, and I know you’d know mine
We’re not such severe victims of time
After finding each other, I’m sure you will relate
Whatever happened to you, whatever your fate
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17. |
Family Name
03:21
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In Salt Lake, of August of ’94
To Erica and Jesse, I was born
My mom still has a newspaper clipping
Of a birth announcement for me
I mostly remember living with
My mom’s siblings and parents
Until I moved from Virginia when I was six
After my mom married my then-stepdad Eric
I spent the summers with my dad
So many of those months were the best I ever had
One year, we lived with his family
His siblings, parents, and cousins from Tahiti
I spent my days with Christopher and Sean
And sometimes my grandpa’s brother Don
Would visit on weekends with his wife
And a little girl who’s a second cousin of mine
It was a couple years after the passing
As my dad’s aunt, Nancy
I learned she suffered from bipolar disorder
I had never been to a funeral before hers
But that was a long time before my great uncle Jim
I know he died, but never knew how he did
I only met him on a couple of occasions
He played and sung song by the Beatles, and he sounded amazing
This morning, while I was in bed
I found out my great-grandmother met her end
I don’t know if she met God, or found peace
But after a while I was filled with relief
She had been suffering for a long time
But she left a whole family behind
I’m only sad I can’t properly thank her
And pay her back the way she deserved
As I’m typing this up, I’m looking at
April snow still pouring out back
Seeing innumerable flakes
Thinking about my family name
The one I was told to remember well
It’s moments like these I’m compelled
To remember where I’m from, and knowing
That it’s the same as where I’m going
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18. |
St. Ann's in the Canyon
05:23
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19. |
In Spring
03:11
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I resolved to head to Cache Valley
In spring
I hoped my friends, that I needed to see so badly
Remembered me
I was just leporine at the very notion
Of going back
Heading up north all the way to Logan
With no real plan
But I’m nervous that too much has changed
In the time that I moved to Salt Lake
I know I’m different since I left
It’s something I’ve come to expect
I was dropped off on campus at the inn
It was a blur
As if I was someplace I’d never been
Like I hadn’t returned
I’ve seen and felt everything I see
In a past life
But is now populated by people I’ll never meet
Like everything’s fine
But I met so many of my friends
I didn’t know that when I saw them again
I didn’t foresee it, but I was stunned
That they were so glad for me to have come
I went to Ben’s hideaway in the mountainside
It was all here
And in that place, I broke down and cried
Through my tears
I looked up in the sky, and up high
I saw white streaks
Like a precession of doves taking flight
Something from a dream
I smiled at what the future could bring
What is waiting in spring.
Red-eyed, I went to Katie’s and Alyssa’s apartment
We talked until it got late, and I went into the darkness
I retraced my steps through the night
Around the town one last time
While I was alone, I spoke to God
It was the first time in so long
And I thanked them for everything until I saw the sun
There was no order, it just happened all at once
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20. |
I'm Gonna Wake
05:47
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I’m on the shuttle home
The road and sky are pitch
I’ve been up all night
I want to rest a bit
I couldn’t take another minute
Of forcing my eyes
Open, looking out
Into such a blank life
When I’m ready
I’m gonna wake
I’m walking on
The shoulder of the highway
There are few cars out
But they startle me the same
The way they rush by
Soon, I’ll be on a train
My head on the window
And I’ll hardly be able to wait
To get home
And sleep in my bed
Move on to
Whatever is next
And dream about
What I just saw
Or maybe
Nothing at all
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21. |
Life as a Fair
02:58
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I’ll find my friends on Clark
Meet by the school after dark
I’m leaving home late
And find myself walking up Hale
All the boys and girls in town
You can bet they’ll be around
Tonight on a blacktop
A dance in the church parking lot
And in the summer air
I see all of life as a fair
Out on God’s green Earth
And I start to learn
While I lay awake
What can I say?
It’s been such a beautiful day
When a decade passes into a few
Until this century is through
These places might be gone
But in this small space, they’ll live on
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22. |
God's Love
05:55
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There were the mountains
There was the sky above
There came the cries of babies
Carried as the winds rushed
Someone’s brothers and sisters
They were strangers with lust
That discovered each other
And fated the same for their daughters and sons
And now the there are towns that sleep
All living to be the same kind of complete
They let you know
That will walk you home
They left you aging lamps burning
That will turn out real early
And if you’re the only one
You might feel God’s love
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The Split Infinitives Salt Lake City, Utah
Project founded by Holden Martinson and Brian Adkins in 2008.
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